As a resident of Los Angeles for over 20 years, I send my deep condolences to those who have lost their homes, their belongings, and their loved ones. The Wildfires can be overwhelming for children and adults alike. As a parent or caregiver, it’s important to provide emotional support and psychological stability for your child during these challenging times, as well as for yourself. Here are actionable suggestive steps you can take to provide support:
1. Keep Routine
Maintaining a consistent routine, such as attending school or adhering to daily schedules, sports, and regular scheduled appointments provides children with a sense of normalcy and security. Familiar patterns can act as an anchor in an uncertain and unpredictable situation.
2. Answer Questions Honestly
Children, who have witnessed, or have been displaced may have many questions about the wildfires, such as how they started or whether your family is safe. Answer their questions honestly in an age-appropriate manner. Transparency helps build trust.
Examples of Questions Kids May Ask: "Are we going to be okay?"
"When are we going back home?" "What happens if the fire comes to our house?"
"Will my friends at school be safe?"
"Why do wildfires happen?"
Answer these questions as simply and directly as possible, providing reassurance where appropriate.
3. Create a Question Box
If there are questions you can’t answer immediately, create a question box, get a box they can decorate and get index cards to write on or cut up pieces of paper. Next have your child write down their concerns. This provides emotional containment, allowing them to express their thoughts without feeling dismissed. Revisit the questions together when you have more information.
Examples of Questions for the Question Box:
"When are we moving to a new home?"
"How long will the fires last?"
"When will the air be safe to breathe again?"
"What will happen to the animals in the fire?"
Review the box regularly and address these questions when you can provide clear and accurate answers.
4. Provide Coping Skills for externalizing feelings Create a coping skills bag, to help a child utilize skills when he/she feels angry/sad/stressed emotionally and/or physically, in order to learn how to process, problem-solve and regulate their nervous system, to mitigate acute stress symptoms.. Here are coping skill sets with DIY directions to create for your child:
5. Offer Sensory Comfort Scary and stressful events are absorbed through the senses and also get released through the senses. Provide gentle touch, soothing sounds, soft lighting, calming scents, and comforting tastes. Include gentle physical contact and plenty of hugs to provide reassurance and warmth. List of STRESS RELIEF Toys and Games HERE
6. Allow Re-telling of "what they witnessed" Retelling is the brains way "of recycling information" and helps make sense of what happened. This is something that’s going to keep coming up, especially at night children like to share before bed. So be sure to let your kids know that you’re there for them whenever they need to talk — and keep checking in proactively, too. 3 Rules: 1. Listen without fixing
Don't talk them out of it
Don't give unsolicited advice.
7. Take Walks in Nature
If it’s safe to do so and the air quality permits, take walks in areas away from the smoke and fires. Fresh air and sunshine are the calming effects of nature, which will provide a much-needed mental health boost.
8. Take a Drive Out of Town
If local conditions are too stressful, consider taking a drive out of town to a safer area. This can provide physical distance from the wildfire’s impact and offer a change of scenery that may help ease anxiety.
9. Lessen Caffeine and Sugar Intake
High caffeine and sugar intake can exacerbate anxiety and restlessness in children. Encourage balanced meals and snacks that help stabilize their energy levels and mood.
10. Listen to Music
Music is a powerful tool for emotional regulation. Create a calming playlist and spend time listening together. Music can serve as an escape and a way to process complex feelings.
11. Write in Journals
Encourage your child to write in a journal about their feelings and experiences. Journaling provides an outlet for self-expression and can help children process their emotions in a constructive way.
12. Provide Art Materials
Art can be a therapeutic medium for children to express what they may not be able to articulate in words. Provide crayons, markers, paint, play dough and other art supplies, and encourage them to create freely.
5 Things Parents Can Do to Support Themselves
1. Take Short Breaks: Step away for a few minutes to breathe deeply, meditate, or simply relax to reset your mind. Listen to a 3 Minute Meditation:
2. Connect with Other Adults: Share your feelings with friends, family, or support groups. Talking to someone who understands can be incredibly comforting.
3. Get Adequate Rest: Prioritize sleep as much as possible. Rest is essential for maintaining the emotional resilience needed to support your child.
4. Engage in Physical Activity: Whether it’s a short walk, yoga, or stretching, physical movement can help reduce stress and improve your mood.
5. Set Boundaries: Recognize your limits and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it and say "no" when a request seems too overwhelming. Delegating tasks can help lighten your load.
By implementing these strategies, you can help your child navigate the emotional and psychological challenges posed by the wildfires. Your support and presence during this time will go a long way in fostering resilience and emotional well-being. I wish you strength, healing, and resilience.
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